Retirement Without Purpose Isn’t Freedom — It’s a Trap
A few years ago I lived in a 55+ community in the Phoenix, Arizona area. Almost all of our 26,000 residents were retired.
The prevailing attitude was “I’m retired, and my reward for working is to not do anything but play.” This was reflected by declining participation in the service organizations in our community. Most of the people I knew spent their time going on multiple cruises, socializing in community clubs, playing golf, or doing very little.
Unfortunately, this attitude often results in many having no sense of purpose or fulfillment in life. As a result, many people here act much older than their chronological age. They have no sense of drive or ambition or desire to create or serve. In a way, they are just waiting to die. There is a lot of depression and alcoholism.
Why Purpose Matters More Than Ever
Writing in his book Things that Matter, Joshua Becker says, “The key to a happy retirement is to have something that you are retiring to, not just something that you are retiring from. The difference between happy and unhappy retirees is having a purpose.”
In August 2020 Edward Jones and Age Wave conducted a study in the United States and Canada. They found that “Retirees with a strong sense of purpose are happier, healthier, and live longer.”
The Four Stages of Retirement: Where Are You?
It’s very typical for new retirees to feel a loss of purpose. Unfortunately, some retirees never do find purpose and fulfillment in their lives.
In his Ted Talk, Dr. Riley Moynes describes the 4 stages of retirement that many retirees experience:
1. Vacation Time. It’s like being on vacation 24/7. You have little or no structure or routine in your life, splurge on new toys, or travel. This phase usually lasts about a year.
Following this “honeymoon stage” of retirement, comes the next stage:
2. Feeling Loss And Feeling Lost. You realize you lost your routine, work relationships, power, responsibility, and a sense of purpose and identity when you retired. You feel insignificant and lack a purpose in life. You begin to think about what’s important in your life and hopefully move forward.
Unfortunately, I see many of my fellow retirees stuck in the “feeling loss and lost” stage. They go from day to day, trying to find something to entertain them and continue that honeymoon feeling of freedom and fun.
How I Moved Beyond the “Lost” Stage
Unfortunately, some retirees are unable to move beyond the “no purpose” stage of retirement.
But others are able to find purpose and fulfillment.
As Dr. Moynes explains, retirees are sometimes able to advance to the 3rd stage, Trial and Error. In this stage, they think, “How can I still contribute?”
They try some different activities and see how they feel. They decide what things work for them, and which don’t work for them.
Beyond the Trial and Error stage, if they continue to advance, is the 4th stage, Reinvent, and Repurpose. They’re asking, “What’s my purpose?” and “What do I want to become?”
Retirees in stage 4 are open to new ideas and directions. They discover who they are, and craft a new identity and purpose. They know who they are and feel like they’re making a contribution.
I know the Stages of Retirement are accurate because I went through them.
I enjoyed my “honeymoon period” of retirement for the first year, but after a lifetime of professional work in ministry and law, I began to feel unproductive and unfulfilled.
I worked for a few years in a community organization, but it wasn’t the right fit. I became intellectually bored and restless. I was unhappy and depressed.
Living with Purpose: What That Looks Like for Me
I began my journey to purpose when I encountered David Spark’s Life Roles identity and evaluation approach, as described in his Productivity Field Guide.
I identified the major roles in my life (Huband, Father, Friend, Creator, etc.) This gave me a practical way to identify what was important to me and what I valued.
Next, I wrote an ideal “best version of myself” for each role. This gives me an ideal to aim for and evaluate my behavior against.
My life purpose become to become a better purpose by continually improving living my ideal life as defined by my roles and ideal behavior statements.
Two Tools That Helped Me Find My Path
What I needed next was to figure out what kind of work I could do that would bring me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. By identifying my roles, I knew what was important to me. However, I still needed to discover what type of work I could do.
I found two approaches were the most helpful for me to discover what type of work I wanted to do:
1. Personality profiles.
Personality profiles I’d taken over the years (such as DISC) helped me to understand what my strongest skills were (and their corresponding weaknesses). Rather than fighting to overcome my weaknesses, I wanted to build on my natural strengths.
1. The Motivation Code.
The Motivation Code online test highlighted what type of work in the past had made me feel most productive and fulfilled.
My personality profiles told me that I was good at analytical skills, details, simplifying complex material, and organizing. My motivation code evaluation informed me that in the past the type of work I found most fulfilling and productive was learning new things, breaking them down and organizing them, then teaching that material by writing or doing presentations.
As a result of these insights, I created my blog, Original Mac Guy. I’m feeling productive researching and writing weekly posts in my blog. I now understand my identity is that of a guide, helping my readers be effective in using technology to live an intentional life.
Your Turn: Finding Fulfillment in Retirement
1. If you’re retired or getting ready to retire, I urge you to become familiar with the stages of retirement by reading The Four Phases of Retirement: What to Expect When You’re Retiring. You’ll understand where you’re headed and what to expect in retirement.
2. If you’re about to retire, take some time to think through what the stages might look like for you, and start thinking now about what kind of activities you might want to try to find a new purpose and identity in retirement.
It’s OK to take some time to enjoy the sense of freedom and playfulness when beginning your retirement. But be aware that eventually, you will start to feel a sense of loss of purpose and identity.
Be ready to recognize the need for change and try out some new approaches. You’ll likely find something that gives you a new sense of contribution and fulfillment.
AI Note: I wrote this blog post myself, using my own words for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, and improvements to the text.
When I post links to product pages on Amazon, my links include a referral code so that when products are purchased after clicking on the link, I sometimes receive a very small percentage of the sale. While the amount that I receive is small, it does help to defray some of the cost of running this site and gives me a small vested interest in having readers purchase products using these links. That said, I do my best to only include links to products I believe are worth buying.